Are you a curious person?
Curiosity may just be the most important quality for a good life.
When we get curious about ourselves, other people, the world, it leads to all sorts of wonderful, hard, enlightening, freeing, connecting, valuable life lessons and discoveries..
I am a naturally curious person and I love discovering, learning, going deep, trying to understand things on a different level. I am curious about the world, humans, spiritually, life, death, grief, parenting, everything.
But not everyone seems to be naturally curious. So - is it a practice and something we can get better at and why would we bother?
This week I did The Changemakers Workshop in town run by the Australian Rural Leaders Foundations.
We learnt a great process for enabling change and leading change from where ever you are. There was a whole range of people from all walks of life working on different things in the community.
What I was reminded of is that curiosity is everything. It’s one of the most important things for making change and leading for change.
We had to do a group session and we were asked to swap groups and present a different perspective, it really struck me that I asked about a million questions, but no one asked me what I was thinking. I find this often in community groups.. often there is a lack of wanting to understand other peoples point of view. We get very stuck in our own way of seeing it and are closed to the possibility that others might see it differently and embracing that.
I feel like I’m getting more and more curious as I get older. I am leaning in to curiosity and I love it. It can sometime become overwhelming, but it’s sooo fascinating. Like being a little kid again.
Henry was asking me just last night, always at bed time - Mum - how did the first person get here… Don’t you just love that question at bed time?! Then we got in to the monkeys, the fish and the questions keep rolling.. The curious mind of a 6 year old.
But we lose that somewhere a long the way don’t we? Or some of us do, we think to be worthy and successful in the world we have to know everything.
The truth is we don’t really know that much at all and it’s all made up anyway. And the more we can be open and admit we don’t know, the more connection you create and the more people respect you.
So, it’s interesting to me that some people just don’t seem to be curious. I turned to Brene for her wisdom on this of course and it’s actually more complex than that….
Choosing to be curious is choosing to be vulnerable because it requires us to surrender to uncertainty. It wasn’t always a choice; we were born curious. But over time, we learn that curiosity, like vulnerability, can lead to hurt. As a result, we turn to self-protecting—choosing certainty over curiosity, armor over vulnerability, and knowing over learning.
This makes so much sense! If we are curious, it’s like admitting we don’t know the answer, and when we are armoured up and defensive, we need to believe that we know best, that we have all the answers so why would we need to be curious. We don’t want to be challenged or get curious because we have already made up our mind and uncertainty is terrifying.
Brene says that “Shifting from being right to wanting to be right” is key. I love this. It reminds me of one of the key take aways I had from the workshop.. instead of “we need more volunteers” or “We need to adapt” the question to ask is HOW do we get more volunteers? How do we adpat more? What does that even look like.
It is asking the questions that leads to the greatest change in people. So powerful.
So my challenge to you is my hot tip this week!
Hot Tip
Get curious, or practice being curious. With your husband with your kids, friends, in meetings at work, everywhere. It is honestly game changing and so freeing in some ways. I would argue there is ALWAYS a reason why someone is behaving the way they are. And if you get curious you can have more empathy and understand why someone is behaving the way they are or thinks the way they do.
It doesn’t always mean it will be easier, but it will help to build the connection and understanding. It also means you need to get more present and take the time, because thinking you are right and have all the answers all the time is way easier.
Joke of the week
I found my Far Out Brussel Sprout book this week - does anyone remember that book? I bloody loved it as a kid. Some of it might be a little out of touch with today’s vibe but some is classic.
Roses are red violets are blue
Cashews are nuts and so are you…
he he - see - gold!
Thanks for being here guys
Love Katrina
xxx