Hello, hello, hello!
Welcome to some new subscribers - so excited to have you here. Seriously it brings me so much joy to be connecting with new people over here.
I am genuinely so excited to be writing to you this morning. I love writing this Substack each week. It’s such an anchor for my week.
As I’ve shared before, writing is not my natural fit. I don’t feel like, nor have I ever felt like, a writer. Despite getting pretty great marks in English (yes, I am still riding on my marks from 20 years ago) I have never felt like I’m good at writing.
But, I committed to doing this Substack anyway and it brings me so much joy. I show up each week and I just write. I love being creative with it, I love sharing and connecting with you and I love that it’s pushing me out of my comfort zone and I can feel the growth each week.
I highly recommend starting one or starting something creative if you feel the desire to share in you. I bet you’ve got ideas swirling in your head that have been there for years! If you have something in you, go and get it happening. Don’t let your mean voice stop you. Thank her for being there and just go.
Grief is not Linear…
Last Sunday was my Dad’s anniversary. It’s been 27 years since he took his life. Weirdly (or maybe not so weirdly) it hit me hard this year. Now, I know you might think, as does a part of me, surely you are OK with that by now? 27 years and you still get sad on his anniversary - come on?!
But here’s the thing - “grief is not linear”… I didn’t make that up and I can’t remember where I heard it, but it’s good. I did hear Kate Northrup talk about this on the podcast interview I mentioned last week with Cathy Heller, but it really helped me to feel in to where I am at.
I have been doing a lot of deep healing work again lately as I mentioned on my podcast and it’s just brought the feelings up to the surface. Which is actually a great thing!
Part of the challenge for me is that when Dad died I completely shut off my feelings and emotions. Like the shock of it just shut me down. It’s like my body and my mind split. Like that thing they say in movies where it was like I just started living someone else’s life… My mind carried on and coped, but my body just shut off. I basically disconnected from my body the instant I was told what happened.
But - what I have realised is that I have A LOT of trouble getting in my body. I am all in my mind. I didn’t have the skills, tools or capacity to process such a massive shock in my body so I just shut that shit down and survived in my head. My brain could do it, my body couldn’t.
But the thing is - 70% of our experience as humans is in the body. We experience so much of life through our body, below the neck, but I have been shut off from that. I haven’t felt safe in my body so I have stayed in my head. And let me tell you my head is a farking crazy place to be a lot of the time.
So now, 27 years later, I am still learning to get in my body, to feel safe… It’s been deeply buried, but I have realised that I haven’t felt safe in my body. I haven’t felt safe with money, with love in many ways, with myself. So - a lot of work is going on to feel safe. And it all came up this weekend. But it’s good. It’s hard but it’s good and this is the non linear healing journey - life hey?!
And you might ask - well why does it matter, if being in your head got you this far then why not just keep carrying on like that? And I have asked myself the same thing - but as I said - my head is a crazy place to be and feeling safe is really important. To live the big full expression of life that I desire, I have to feel safe.
And the thing is, more money, more love from external, more safety around me won’t make me feel safe - I have to feel that from the inside. I have to feel safe in myself.
Who knew doing life would all be so bloomin’ hard hey?!
But I think that’s probably partly why I am feeling so great this morning though. I am feeling a new sense of peace and calm and I am so excited for Easter. I think I am feeling a little more safe in my body which allows for more joy!
I love Easter! We are off camping out the back of the farm with some friends. It’s always just the best time of year.
Here’s some good tips on how to get in your body and I would also add that the hardest part is remembering to get in to your body, noticing your thoughts.. that’s where meditation comes in so hit me up if you want to learn! And it’s harder than you think if you’ve experienced any kind of trauma so be VERY gentle with yourself.
The Moon!
Oh my god how ‘bout that moon this week. I seriously get so excited about the moon! We all drove over the other side of the hill on Tuesday and watched it rise and it was magical. Just the best. Also the moon always reminds me of Dad, he loved the full moon and Easter too so it makes me feel so connected to him. Love.
Recommendations
To read
So this is my reading pile at the moment.. I am back doing my yoga teacher training which I am thoroughly excited about and enjoying. So here is an eclectic mix of books.. I just finished Tom Lake and it was an enjoyable read that I would recommend for bedtime reading. I Will Teach You To Be Rich is Ramit Sethi and this is because I am trying to be a conscious spender and work out my relationship with money.
How To Cook Your Life is a book recommended by Jac from the Broadplace that we had to read as part of our meditation teacher training and I dip in and out of it for hits of wisdom.
To Listen to
LIV BOEREE: Explaining Moloch, the mysterious game theory force breaking the world (plus a fix!)
This was a seriously great episode with Liv Booree an ex poker player who seems to have some really great ideas about how we can save ourselves. Loved it and am so fascinated with Moloch. I also had the thought that we have “Moloched” the food system too - what do you think?
Shout Out
I still haven’t landed on a name I’m happy with for this section, I have a tendency to over think names.. Anyhoo - this week I am giving a shout out to Chantelle Fisher from Matchy Mumma The Label.
Chantelle has been in my world for a few years now and learnt meditation with me and I have loved following her journey. She’s created a beautiful range of maternity underwear and she’s just the most beautiful human. Go check her out here and if you are pregnant get around her beautiful matching sets.
Hot Tip
Get help. I know this is nothing new, seek help, blah blah but who actually does? The thing is, it actually helps!
Whether you need help with life, business, relationships, parenting, work related stuff, seeking help form a coach, mentor, therapist, consultant REALLY helps. I have worked with SO many coaches, therapists, consultants, mentors over the years and I always get something out of it. Lately I’ve been working with KJ Smith who is an intuitive coach and also use EFT and it’s been wonderful.
One thing I have always been good at is asking for help and using my networks. I LOVE working with people who can help sort out my early mentioned “crazy mind” and life and business.
One thing I always advise is to try different people and find what works for you. If you go to someone and it doesn’t gel, try someone else.
Also - a shameless plug - I offer 1:1 mentoring for mediation and wellbeing so if you think I might be your women, I would LOVE to work with you. Email me at katrinamyers@barhamavocados.com.au and we’ll make a time. xxx
Joke of the Week
If you’re new here, I always add a joke of the week courtesy of Tim to give us all a laugh, this weeks is pretty good…
I can’t say I’ll run through the campsite…
I have to say I ran through..
Because it’s past tents
Thank you all for being here!
Love Katrina
xx