A life well lived..
I went to a funeral service this week for a wonderful 93 year old women. I didn’t know her well at all but she was my Aunts Mum. It was a real celebration of the life of a women who by all accounts seemed to have really lived well.
From tennis and golf and travelling the world, to playing at Wimbledon when she was 19, to connected friendships and wonderful relationships with her husband and children and exuding style. In many ways it sounded ideal to me and simple (apart from Wimbledon at 19 in the 50s, that was pretty spectacular) and yet so fulfilling.
It sounded like a privileged life for sure but one she never took for granted and she was grateful for and just really enjoyed. She reminded me of my Grandmother Gwen Heinz and the way she lived. Just with a zest and joy for life, a love of her family and connection and a way of making other people feel wonderful in her presence.
I left the service feeling like that was the life I wanted. Simple, joyful, connected, filled with love and joy and fun. So simple, and yet I feel in many ways so hard to achieve. The constant internal battle for piece and calm and ease conflicting with the need for money success and achievement.. and so we go on…
Kate and why we are obsessed..
So, I have also been very intrigued by this story and where on earth is Kate Middleton? Along with pretty much every other person in the world apart from Tim who probably has no idea that Kate is even gone…
It has all just seemed so bizarre. But then I read on Sarah Wilson’s Substack about a piece Helen Lewis had written:
“Everyone seems mystified by the simple fact of not knowing. We have become so used to smartphone surveillance, oversharing on social media, and the commercial harvesting of life events for content that the prospect of remaining uninformed about the state of a stranger’s intestines now seems like a personal affront.”
And I thought - isn’t that just so spot on? We are obsessed with knowing everything every single second of someone’s life. This is the standard now and when we don’t know we freak out. We want to be in control of everything. They said we wouldn’t see her until after Easter but everyone has whipped themselves in to a frenzy over not knowing where she is. Gotta say I am totally guilt of this too. But will take a deep breath and listen to the wise Helen Lewis.
ON THE PODCAST
100 episodes! And taking a break…
The 100th episode of This Rural Life (previously The Rural Rockstar) is out this week and I have decided to take a break for now. I am not really sure what the direction of the podcast is and I need to do some thinking. I love sharing and doing the podcast but I feel like its been lacking a bit of direction and I need some time to think about what I am doing with it. Kind of a metaphor for my life right now really.
So in this episode I share where I’m at, what the journey has been to here and what I hope to keep doing. I will be keeping this newsletter going don’t worry about that and I’ll be dropping in mini podcasts in here with the hot tips etc.
Thank you so much to all of you for your support and listening a long and being on the journey with me for the show.
Spotlight Spot
Amy Tracey - Bush Biz Boost and Cohuna Co.
I thought I’d start with someone fairly local to me.
Amy is from Cohuna which is just 15 minutes from Barham and she set up a co working space called Cohuna Co there and runs a business called Bush Biz Boost!
Amy is a business mentor and she’s a real connector and community person who works away at supporting businesses and women and people not only in her community but further afield online. Go check her our and give her a follow and if you want any support with your small biz or socials she could be your women!
Recommendations
The Cathy Heller Podcast interview with Kate Northrup
The money stuff on here was bang on for where I am at around the need to feel safe and all the work I am doing having realised that a big part of my money struggles is feeling safe. This just hit right where I am at so if you struggle with your money story and money in general I would recommend this one.
Brene Brown Unlocking Us with Esther Perel - does it get any better than this dream team together on a pod? I hadn’t realised that Unlocking us was back - so excited. And this was a ripper. I feel like I’m getting more and more obsessed with the perils of social media, especially for our kids and this was great.
Hot Tip
Talk.
Seriously - if you are in a stressful period in your life, there’s financial struggles, (which lot’s of people have right now), if your business is struggling, if your kids are having a hard time - talk about it.
I’m mainly referring to your husband or partner here.
It’s so important to communicate with each other and it’s so easy (although a lot harder in the long run) not to.
If you don’t feel like you can talk to them straight away, talk to someone else about it first, or get some skills to have the conversation and then talk to them.
And give yourself and them a break. You might both say things you don’t mean at some point, you’re human, forgive yourself or them and then re-engage. Don’t give up. Try to think about being kind, think about the other persons perspective and where they are coming from and give them the benefit of the doubt and then keep talking. Talking is hard and it’s usually the last thing we want to do when the shit hits the fan, but it’s honestly the only way to really navigate through something.
If you try to talk and it goes pear shaped, get support. Seek help, research how to have difficult conversations. So often we just don’t know how to talk about things because we just don’t have the skills. But it’s just like anything in life there is so much help and support out there! A good place to start might be Esther Perel’s work. As she says:
The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.
This stuff is so important, it’s so worth investing some time in understanding how to do it better.
I would also add that the best place to start is with YOU if you are blaming the other person for all the problems it might be time to look inwards.. You can never control anyone else only how you show up!
Joke of the Week
Why did the gym close down?
Because it didn’t work out..
Thank you for being here and see you next week!
Love Katrina
xx